In one of the cheesy Family Circus comic strips, a woman asks the mother of the family, “How do you divide your love among your four children?” The mom answers, “I don’t divide it. I multiply it.”
To me Donna was that comic in action, and I remind myself of both whenever I feel jealous of someone’s tie with another.
At her funeral, I remember realizing how far her reach extended. She had touched many individuals throughout her life. She had always made me feel special, and to know she had made others feel the same way brought home that there is not a finite supply of love. Caring for one person doesn’t have to diminish tenderness for another.
This should be obvious. I have family and lots of friends, a number of whom I consider close. Those in my circle are all important to me.
However, the same way a woman might criticize her appearance but be generous in assessing others, jealousy can creep in unwarranted.
Remembering Donna is like throwing a fist in the air and exclaiming that we have an immense capacity for feeling.
The second thing I sometimes think about since losing Donna: no one is replaceable. I’ve met smart, thoughtful people since her, and I have friends and acquaintances who support me and whom I root for. But no one is quite like her, and no one does it quite like she did. I suppose that’s awful and awesome at the same time.